I hate everything about you, but I love you
by Tsukaimon
Summary: Hollypaw and Breezepaw hate each other, but they still love each other.
1. To Hollypaw Irritation

"_Ugh, I swear that she-cat is so _annoying!_"_

"_I could have handled myself, thank you very much!"_

"_Why doesn't anyone ever leave me _alone!?"

Ugh! I get so _sick _and _tired _of that stupid furball!…huh? Oh, who is the "stupid furball" I'm talking about? Well, it's none other than that stupid apprentice, Breezepaw!

Yeah, if any Breezepaw fans are here, you should probably leave now. Yeah, I know you think he's the oh-so-hot apprentice, but believe me he's _not_.

As I padded across ThunderClan camp, where I live, I ran into my brother Jaypaw, who was carrying a mouthful of Feverfew.

"_Mrrow oof!_" We both cried. Yes, as you know, Jaypaw _is _the blind cat. But, you should also know that he can _hear_ AND _scent_. Anyway, it was my daydreaming that ended up making us crash into each other.

"Gah, Hollypaw!" He mewed, staring at me with his sightless blue eyes. "Watch where you're going, please!"

"Sorry, Jaypaw," I mewed apologetically. "I just had something one my mind and wasn't watching where I was going.

Jaypaw narrowed his eyes at me. I then remembered that his nosy brother of mine could read minds, so I cleared any thoughts of the "furball" and stared back at him. "You really shouldn't be so nosy, Jaypaw."

"_You _need to stop thinking about Breezepaw and watch your OWN paws!" He retorted.

"Excuse me? That is a load of mouse dung!" I hissed, feeling my fur burn with embarrassment. "Why would I be thinking about Breezepaw, mousebrain?"

He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it when heard Leafpool call his name, "Jaypaw!"

He gave me a look, then bounded off to the medicine cat's den. I sighed in relief. _Finally_.

Not wanting to be bothered by anymore unwanted guests, I padded off through the thorn tunnel, A.K.A the camp entrance, and off into the surrounding forest.

My stomach growling reminded me of how hungry I was, "Darn, I should've gotten some fresh-kill while I had the chance!"

I sniffed, and many smells filled my nostrils. _Vole, and a thrush._

My ears perked up to listen and see which available prey was closer. The vole sounded closer.

I slipped down into my hunters crouch, slowly creeping up on the unsuspecting vole. When it was clear the vole didn't notice my presence, I leapt from my hiding place and brought the vole down with a single blow.

Though it was a small catch, I picked up the vole triumphantly in my teeth and headed back to camp.

I froze, though, when I heard some distant mewing. Curious, I followed the noise and stopped when I realized they were coming from over the WindClan border.

Breezepaw was hunting with Heatherpaw. For some reason unknown to me, I felt jealousy prickle in every strand of fur on my body.

I don't know why…was it because I was jealous of Heatherpaw? That certainly couldn't be it! I _hated _Breezepaw!

But, I was curious, so I slipped in behind a tree and stared out at them with my green eyes.

"That was a nice catch, Breezepaw," Heatherpaw mewed adoringly, eyeing the huge rabbit Breezepaw had just caught.

"Whatever," Breezepaw mewed, not even remotely interested in what Heatherpaw thought.

Heatherpaw's ears flattened, a dejected look appearing on her face. For some reason, this cheered me. _Why would I be happy about that?_

When Breezepaw began padding off and Heatherpaw followed a fox length behind, I knew it was safe to come out.

As I padded back to camp with my vole, I couldn't help but wonder aloud, "Why did I feel like that Breezepaw rejected another cat? I couldn't be…"

"Because you love him."

At first, I thought it was a voice inside my head that said it. But when I turned, I saw it was only Jaypaw.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" I asked with narrowed eyes.

"I was out collecting herbs," Jaypaw told me. "Hollypaw, you know how dangerous it is to fall in love with cats from other clans!"

"Shut up, Jaypaw!" I hissed.

"You remember what happened with Lionpaw!" Jaypaw continued, ignoring me. "It is forbidden and it will bring nothing but misery.

At that moment, I wanted to rake my claws across Jaypaw's muzzle, but I knew better than that. I walked passed him. And, as a passed, he whispered, "You love him."

END OF CHAPTER 1


	2. The Truth Revealed

"_I swear, I can't _stand _him!"_

"_He is so full of himself!"_

"_I _hate_ you, Breezepaw!"_

That mouse-brained furball! I hate, _hate_, HATE her!…Oh, who are you? What are you doing in WindClan territory, fool?! Oh, you're here to listen to my ranting? Well, _fine_, but if I found out you're spying for ShadowClan, you're as good as crowfood.

Anyway, back to my rant….where was I? Oh, yes. I hate, _hate_, HATE her! Great StarClan, what is it _now_? Oh, you want to know what I'm ranting about? Well, it's that annoying apprentice, Hollypaw.

All those things she said about me, and too my face, have burned me like actual fire since the day she said them…it really cut deep, and I can't figure out _why_…why would her words afflict me so?

Yes, I know words like that could hurt _anyone's _feelings, mouse-brain. I'm not a newborn kit. It's just…well, I've been told worse things than this, much, much worse.

Her words hurt more than when my father never praised me! But _why_? Can someone answer me? Why, _why_, WHY?

And yes, that _is _a rhetorical question; I do not want an answer. As my head buzzes with these thoughts, I feel something heavy run into me and nearly knock me over.

"Oh, my! I'm _so _sorry, Breezepaw!" I knew from the moment I heard the "sorry" that it was Heatherwhisker; she had earned her warrior name just a few days ago, and she was expecting kits.

I really, really didn't get why she was still prancing after me even though she was having kits with Emberfoot.

I would tell Emberfoot, but I had enough cats mad at me for some unknown reason as it is, and I didn't want anymore.

I moved out from under the heavy she-cat and muttered, "_Hi._"

The familiar dejected look appeared on Heatherpa—I mean, Heather_whisker_'s face. She annoyed me more than any cat! Well, except Hollypaw.

Her ears then perked up as she asked, "Is something wrong, Breezepaw? Is something the matter?"

I shook my head, eager to get away from this unwanted guest, "Umm, I think I hear Onestar calling! I'd better go!" I quickly bounded off before she could continue with her annoying, mouse-brained chatter.

Heatherpa--Gah, Heather_whisker _fans, you seriously need to LEAVE if you are going to badmouth me, geez!

Heatherwhisker was probably watching me as I ran past Onestar's den and out into the forest. I didn't care.

I let the sounds of the forest (at least I _think _so) fill my ears. I enjoyed the wondrous smells of rabbits especially.

Speaking of rabbit, I smelled a rabbit. I knew I would catch it, because I am _fast_. No, I am not boasting. WindClan cats are naturally fast.

I crept up behind the rabbit. It didn't notice me. When I knew I was at the right position, I leapt forward and sunk my teeth into the rabbit's neck.

As hungry as I was, I couldn't eat anything until I brought this rabbit back to camp.

I began padding back, but I heard the yowls of two cats. ThunderClan, no doubt; RiverClan and ShadowClan would never make such noise.

Now I'm no eavesdropper, but I _was _curious, so I slipped into a bramble bush, wincing as a thorn poked me.

"Hollyleaf," I heard Jaypaw mew. "You love him." Hah? Holly_leaf_? She became a warrior before _me_?

My blood boiled when I heard this, but then I heard something else. The "you love him" part struck me. She loves _whom_?

Probably Birchfall or Ashfur, those two ThunderClan fools….sulkily, I turned around and was beginning to walk back to camp, when I heard Hollyleaf say in a somewhat defeated voice, "You're right," She sighed. "I do love Breezepaw."

I froze, turning around, my amber eyes growing wide. The two had begun too walk off after I had heard this, but I was frozen for a few moments.

When I finally unfroze, I walked slowly back to camp, and muttered, "I hate her…but I love her."


	3. The First Meeting

"_Hollyleaf, you love him."_

"_You're right, I do love Breezepaw…."_

….huh? Oh, you again. Please, don't intrude on my moping…are you still here? Why won't you leave?!

I was staring around camp at nothing in particular, many emotions running through me at the moment: Anger, confusion, embarrassment…but, mostly confusion. Anger because Jaypaw had managed to force the information out of me. Embarrassment because I had blurted out I love Breezepaw, and confusion because…I don't know _why_.

Why do I love Breezepaw? It doesn't make any sense! I would _never_ fall in love with a WindClan cat! …Would I? I don't know, but…do you smell Jaypaw?

I whirled around to see my blind brother grinning, eyes filled with both irritation and amusement. "Mouse-brain," I snarled. "You shouldn't spy on other people's thoughts!"

He shrugged, "If I have the talent, I might as well use it." He chuckled.

I hissed with embarrassment, and then stomped off toward the forest. "Wait!" Jaypaw called.

I stopped, then turned and glowered at him, "What?"

His eyes narrowed at me, "Don't go near the WindClan border."

For a moment, I felt shock and pain pierce me. _He doesn't think I'm a loyal ThunderClan cat!_

It was very hard to resist the urge to slash Jaypaw right then and there, but I managed to ignore it as I ran away from my brother and into the forest, where I could be alone.

I didn't feel like hunting. In fact, I felt sick. Not sick like a fever, no…just, sick…huh, what? …Excuse me; you say I'm _lovesick_?!

You know, I could make you leave, but I'll let you stay…unless you bother me some more.

I began cursing under my breath, "Filthy, no good, worthless, _fox-dung_!" I snarled.

I froze, then, when I smelled a strange scent. Well, not strange, but it wasn't ThunderClan. I turned to see Breezepaw crossing the border.

He looked at me, and then called, "Hollyleaf!"

I went rigid where I stood. _How did he know I was Hollyleaf?_

I turned to him, "Hello, Breezepaw."

When he stopped in front of me, he swept his amber gaze over me for a moment.

I broke the silence, "How did you know I had become Hollyleaf?"

Breezepaw looked nervous, then he hesitated as he spoke, "I-I heard you and Jaypaw talking the other day, and…" He stopped, and I could see he was as nervous as me.

"What did you hear?" I asked, half-horrified, half-flattered.

"I heard you had become a warrior…" He began. "And, I heard something else…"

_Oh, no…_ "What is it that you heard?" I tried to keep my breathing steady.

"I-I, I heard you say…" He gulped, then there was a pause. When he finally spoke, he said. "I heard you say that you loved me."

My green eyes widened, "You heard that?"

He was only able to nod, then he said, "I wanted to know…is it true?"

Everything was quiet except for the wind rustling our fur. I was tongue-tied, then I spoke, "Yes, it was true…everything."

For some reason, I saw his amber eyes light up bright. He then mewed excitedly, "Could I meet you here again, tonight?" He asked me, his amber eyes pleading.

I couldn't resist, much as I tried. "S-sure."

"Great!" He mewed, smiling at me, then he ran back over the border.

I sighed, going slowly back to camp, "I'm no better than Lionblaze…" But, in truth, I didn't care. You know why? Because _I _wouldn't get caught.

I bounded off to get some prey, then I would be ready to meet Breezepaw tonight.


	4. The Dream

"Could I meet you here again, tonight

"_Could I meet you here again, tonight?"_

"_S-sure."_

_Yes! _Oh, are you here again? Well, I will allow you to stay, but stay in _camp_! Do NOT follow me!

I really couldn't believe that Hollyleaf had agreed to meet me. But, I was glad that she had said yes.

I knew this would put us in danger. I knew this would put our Clan in danger. But, I also knew that I loved Hollyleaf, and I wanted to be with her, even if StarClan didn't want me to be.

It was still sunhigh when I had finally finished my training, and I wouldn't be meeting Hollyleaf until moonhigh.

With a yawn, I padded to the apprentice den across the clearing, dodging the newly named Sedgepaw as he bounded out of the den.

I curled up in my place in the den, and then sleep quickly washed over me. That's when I began to dream…

I was in StarClan's camp, I knew that much. When I looked around StarClan camp, I noticed two cats coming toward me.

One was a small gray tom, smaller than me, and the other was a thin gray tabby cat. My amber eyes narrowed, and I was suddenly cautious, "Who are you?"

"I am Gorsestar," Answered the gray tabby. He then swept his tail over the small gray toms back. "And this is Eaglekit."

"I was Crowfeather's brother before I died," Eaglekit explained.

I then realized they were both formerly of WindClan. "All right, then," I mewed. "What do you want?"

"We want to talk with you about what you're doing," Gorsestar told me. I knew he was referring to me meeting with Hollyleaf.

"What about it?" I hissed, claws scraping the dirt.

"StarClan agrees with you," Eaglekit told him.

My eyes opened wide, "Wh-what?"

"We agree with what you are doing," Eaglekit repeated. "One of Gorsestar's deputies, Amberfoot, once did the same thing."

Gorsestar nodded in remembrance, "Yes." He continued. "She was in love with the ThunderClan deputy, Frozenwing."

"Like you and Hollyleaf, she and Frozenwing agreed to meet each other," Eaglekit mewed. "And StarClan agreed with it, like you and Hollyleaf…."

At his pause, Gorsestar continued, "But there is one thing we did not allow: we did not allow them to have kits."

"You must promise us, Breezepaw, that you will not let it go that far." Eaglekit warned. "It will only bring misery to the Clan.

I gulped, and then nodded, "I-I promise." I vowed.

"Good." The StarClan cats began to fade.

Then, I grinned mischievously, "Tch. Yeah, right."

When I awoke, it was nearly time to meet Hollyleaf. I would tell her about the StarClan dream, but I would tell her we would not obey.

We _would _have kits.


	5. Who care's?

"I heard you say that you loved me

"_I heard you say that you loved me. I want to know…is it true?"_

"_Yes, it was true…everything."_

Those were the words Breezepaw and I had dared to speak. I couldn't believe it, and he probably couldn't either.

Oh, well. I was on my way to meet him right now, when I heard Firestar let out a yowl, "Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather beneath the Highrock for a Clan meeting!"

I stiffened, and then looked up at our flame-colored leader as he bounded quickly up the Highrock, a furious look on his face.

Cats began to pour out of the dens. I settled in the very back, where I could easily escape to go find Breezepaw.

"Clan cats," Firestar mewed. "We have caught WindClan scent across the border!" Yowls rose from the Clan cats, except for me; my heart had stopped beating at that precise moment.

As I glanced around at the Clan cats, I saw Lionblaze stare up, a half-furious, half-hopeful look on his face; he probably thought it was Heatherwhisker, come to ask him back.

When I looked at Jaypaw, I saw he was staring at me, his eyes cold and angry; he had either read my mind, or he suspected that it had been Breezepaw.

"What have WindClan done now?!" I heard Ashfur call out.

"Have they been stealing prey again?" Whitewing mewed in response.

"_Silence!_" Firestar bellowed from the Highrock. "No, they have not been stealing prey. But we renewed the borders this morning, so there is no excuse for their trespassing!"

Yowls of agreement rose from the surrounding Clan cats. I began to back up, that way I could escape without being noticed.

But, just before I could make my escape, I heard a furious voice meow, "Where are you going?"

I turned to see Jaypaw, who was staring at me with the same angry and cold eyes, his fur bristling. "I'm going hunting." I told him.

"Don't go near the WindClan border!" He yowled after me, though not loud enough for the other Clan cats to hear.

I ignored Jaypaw as I ran through the thorn tunnel, not stopping until I skidded just inches from the WindClan border.

Breezepaw was waiting for me, "Good evening, Hollyleaf." He purred.

I smiled hugely, and then mewed, "Hello, Breezepaw."

Breezepaw's eyes were suddenly wary, then he mewed, "I've got something to tell you." He noticed when I stiffened.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I had a dream last night." He told me. "StarClan approves of us being together."

My eyes widened excitedly, "Really?"

"Yes, but," He continued. "We are not allowed to have kits."

For some reason, hearing this saddened me, "Oh."

"But I don't think we should listen," He pressed his muzzle to mine. "I think we should have kits, regardless of the consequences."

"B-but," I mewed. "What if our Clanmates find out? What will we do?"

He scoffed, "What are they going to do, throw us out? They can't do that to a queen."

"But, what about-" He silenced me with a flick of his tail.

"They won't do anything. Promise." He licked my ear.

I then realized how much Breezepaw meant to me. I felt an unexpected surge of joy. It was strange, but I liked it.

"I love you, Breezepaw," I whispered.

"I love you, too." He replied.

Then, someone called, "_Hollyleaf_!" I knew it was Jaypaw.

"Breezepaw, run!" I hissed. He immediately ran across the border, quickly out of sight.

Jaypaw was staring at me with those furious blind eyes.

Because he knew. Jaypaw had heard every word.


	6. Another dream?

"_I love you, Breezepaw."_

"_I love you, too."_

Those were the words that Hollyleaf and I were able to say to each other. It was strange—because I was actually able to say them.

Hollyleaf felt the same. I was angry with her brother, though, because he had ruined the moment. Oh well, I would meet Hollyleaf again tonight.

…Excuse me, but when did you get here? Didn't your mother ever tell you that it's rude to eavesdrop on others?! And I suppose you followed me out of camp, didn't you? …Oh, great StarClan, you did?!

…Well, as long as you don't rat out Hollyleaf and I, it doesn't matter, I suppose.

It was nearly dawn when I returned to camp. Gosh, had I really been gone that long? I didn't care. I slipped right into the apprentice den and curled up and went to sleep.

I awoke once again in StarClan camp. As expected, Eaglekit and Gorsestar appeared. But, two cats I didn't recognize followed behind them; a amber-eyed she-cat and a pure white tom.

Eaglekit had a furious look in his eyes, "You _lied_." He snarled.

Gorsestar didn't look much happier, but he swept his tail over Eaglekit's pelt, "At ease, Eaglekit." When Gorsestar looked at me, his eyes were as cold as the white tom's pelt, like snow.

I felt no fear when facing them though, only curiosity for the two cats standing behind them. _They _didn't look angry, only worried.

While Eaglekit and Gorsestar looked at me warily, the amber-eyed she-cat stepped forward and bowed her head, "Greetings, Breezepaw. I am Amberfoot."

I then remembered the story Gorsestar and Eaglekit had told me…

"_We agree with what you are doing," Eaglekit repeated. "One of Gorsestar's deputies, Amberfoot, once did the same thing."_

_Gorsestar nodded in remembrance, "Yes." He continued. "She was in love with the ThunderClan deputy, Frozenwing."_

"_Like you and Hollyleaf, she and Frozenwing agreed to meet each other," Eaglekit mewed. "And StarClan agreed with it, like you and Hollyleaf…."_

_At his pause, Gorsestar continued, "But there is one thing we did not allow: we did not allow them to have kits."_

"_You must promise us, Breezepaw, that you will not let it go that far." Eaglekit warned. "It will only bring misery to the Clan._

"The same Amberfoot that had kits with Frozenwing?" I turned my head to the white tom. "…Who I assume this is?"

The white tom nodded, "Indeed, I am Frozenwing."

My eyes narrowed, "Alright, what do you want?"

"To warn you." Amberfoot replied gently, before Eaglekit or Gorsestar could snap at me.

I rolled my eyes. "Not _this _again…"

"Listen to me, Breezepaw." Frozenwing ignored me. "You and Hollyleaf must not have kits—Eaglekit and Gorsestar are not lying to you. It will only cause the Clans distress and misery."

"We had kits," Amberfoot mewed. "And, one of them rose up to be leader of ThunderClan."

"His name was Redkit." Frozenwing told me.

"But, when he became leader, he drove out one of the _five _Clans in the forest." He told me.

"SkyClan," I nodded, remembering the stories of how SkyClan was driven out.

"Exactly."

"Breezepaw, do not have kits." Amberfoot mewed, then touched my nose. "It's time to wake up."


	7. The Last Resort

_"Jaypaw, what Breezepaw and I do is none of your buisness!"_

_"Yes, it is my buisness! It's my buisness when my sister, who knows the Warrior code leaves camp to mate with a WindClan cat!"_

That was the argument Jay_feather _and I had last moonhigh. I had to hand it to him, he wasn't has blind as he looked. Nonetheless, he would not keep me from Breezepaw.

After the incident yesterday, we had to make our meetings at a later time, so I had plenty of time to dream. Too bad, though, it was not the dream I wanted...

When I awoke, I knew I wasn't really awake. Several cats with stars in their fur all surrounded me, all from ThunderClan. One of them approached me. A strong-looking, blue-gray she-cat approached. _Bluestar_?

She must've noticed the anxious look I was giving her, because she nodded, "Indeed, I am Bluestar, young one."

I stared at the other cats for a moment, then my fur bristled, "You aren't going to tell me the same thing Jaypaw told me, are you?" I hissed, crouching down. Even Bluestar's piercing eyes could not vex me.

She shook her head no, "Young one, what you're doing is not wrong....I had kits with a cat from RiverClan." She told me.

"So what _do _you want?" I asked.

"Pass on this message to Breezepaw," She ordered me. "Next time you go to meet him, tell him that if you do have kits, you must take one back to WindClan, and one to ThunderClan."

"What?!" I jumped up. "Seperate my kits?!"

"It is the only way to save them, yourself, and Breezepaw," An old, ragged she-cat mewed. _Obviously Yellowfang_.

I didn't say anything, and Yellowfang's eyes narrowed, "Do you not want to save Breezepaw?" She snarled. "Do you want him to get caught and exiled?"

I winced, "No, I want to save Breezepaw." That was partially a lie. I _did _want to save Breezepaw, but at the same time, I knew we could find a way to make this work out without seperating our kits.

Bluestar then looked up at the sky, "It's time for you to meet Breezepaw, Hollyleaf." She mewed. I nodded, then suddenly, I was back in the Warriors den. Birchfall was curled up beside me.

Shocked, I flinched away, and he rolled over into my nest. I shook my head in disgust, then bounded out of camp, making sure my paws scarcely scraping the ground.

Jaypaw certainly wouldn't be awake at this time, so I had nothing to worry about. I tripped several times over tree roots, then realized I would have to get used to this.

"Breezepaw!" I cried as soon as I saw the dark gray tom.

He purred warmly, "My name is Breeze_pelt _now." I smiled at him hugely, then my eyes became sad.

"Breezepelt..." I murmured, then he sighed.

"Did you have a dream, too?" He asked, then his ears flattened when I nodded. "What should we do?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "There's no way we can seperate our kits, can we? Thats cruel! We could never--" He silenced me by touching his muzzle to mine.

"Is there any cat in ThunderClan who likes you, Hollyleaf?" He asked.

I thought for a moment, then mewed, "Birchfall."

His face twisted into the same disgusted face that I had earlier, "Other than him." He mewed hastily.

Once again, I thought, then mewed, "Ashfur might."

He sighed, then murmured, "I guess that's the best thing we can do..."

"What, Breezepelt? What are you thinking?"

"You have to take our kits," He told me. "You have to have them outside of camp, then take them back to camp and pretend they are Ashfur's kits!"

"No, Breezepelt!" I mewed, horrified. "We can't! Our kits will never know their real father!" This hurt me dearly, and I began to tremble. I felt tears run down my cheeks, tears that burned as they fell.

Breezepelt's face twisted into an agonized gaze, "I know, Hollyleaf, but what else can we do?" He whispered, his voice filled with soft agony as well. "We can't let them hurt our kits!"

I sighed, the tears still falling, then looked up at him in defeat, "If its the only way..."

He pressed against me, "It's the only way, Hollyleaf," He licked my ear.

I buried my nose in his fur and continued to sob at the thought that my kits would never know their real father.

END OF CHAPTER 7


	8. Kestrelsong To The Rescue, Part 1

_"No, Breezepelt! We can't! Our kits will never know their real father!"_

_"I know, Hollyleaf, but what else can we do?"_

Hello. You know, I've actually gotten used to you being here, so I will allow you to stay. As you can see, we are in a rough spot: either Hollyleaf has her kits and pretends they are Ashfur's, or we tell our Clans that we are mates and risk seperating the kits, and that would kill Hollyleaf even more.

By the look of Hollyleaf, her Clan could probably tell she was having kits soon, Jayfeather especially. He couldn't say anything against her, though, because, no matter how much he threatened, he wouldn't really risk putting Hollyleaf in any more danger than she was already in.

All I could really think about right now was Hollyleaf, how upset she was, how agonized her beautiful voice had sounded, and....hey! You there, giggling in the back, shut _up_! This is serious! Hollyleaf....

_"You have to take our kits," He told me. "You have to have them outside of camp, then take them back to camp and pretend they are Ashfur's kits!"_

_"No, Breezepelt!" I mewed, horrified. "We can't! Our kits will never know their real father!" This hurt me dearly, and I began to tremble. I felt tears run down my cheeks, tears that burned as they fell._

_Breezepelt's face twisted into an agonized gaze, "I know, Hollyleaf, but what else can we do?" He whispered, his voice filled with soft agony as well. "We can't let them hurt our kits!"_

_I sighed, the tears still falling, then looked up at him in defeat, "If its the only way..."_

_He pressed against me, "It's the only way, Hollyleaf," He licked my ear._

I wouldn't allow her to suffer. Somehow, some way, our kits would know me, know I was, and still am, Hollyleaf's mate.

"Breezepelt?" A voice mewed. An annoying voice, I thought it was Heatherwhisker, but I knew it wasn't after it mewed a second time, "Breezepelt, is something wrong?"

I turned toward the cat that was speaking to me, and I saw it was our knew medicine cat, Kestrelsong. Yes, Kestrelsong is our medicine cat; Barkface died a little bit after giving Kestrelsong his name because of some infection that he had kept secret for a long time.

"Huh?" I pretended to be confused as I stared at the gray-brown tom cat.

"Is there something the matter, Breezepelt?" He mewed again. "You're pale...and you look tired."

I internally flinched, "No, no, I'm fine." Then, I had an idea. Kestrelsong wouldn't hate me no matter what I did! He could help deliver Hollyleaf's kits!

"Kestrelsong!" I mewed suddenly, startling him. "Sorry." I looked around and made sure no cat was around, then beckoned him forward with my tail. "Can I ask you something? Please, it's important!"

Kestrelsong could immediately tell it was something important by the way I was acting. He nodded, then he looked around. "Let's go into the forest."

"Kestrelsong!" A voice called. It was Onestar. "Kestrelsong, where are you going? Emberfoot has whitecough! You can't just leave camp!"

"I-I..." He stuttered. "I was going to go look for some catmint! We are running low, and...I asked Breezepelt to help me!"

I shot Kestrelsong a grateful look, then Onestar narrowed his eyes, "...fine. See that you get back to camp soon."

"Now, what is it that you needed to talk to me about.....?"

We stood on the edge of the border, waiting until Hollyleaf showed up. She was shocked when she saw Kestrelsong with me, but then understood why I had brought him. She dipped her head, "Hello, Kestrelsong." She mewed politely.

"Hello," He mewed cheerfully, then looked at me. "Now, about what you wanted to tell me..."

"We're getting to that." I mewed. I looked at Hollyleaf. "Now, what can you notice about Hollyleaf...?"

He narrowed his eyes at Hollyleaf, then mewed, "She's having kits." He announced.

I nodded, "_My _kits." I mewed.

He stared at me, wide-eyed. "That's why you were out of camp so often."

Hollyleaf stared at him pleadingly, "Please say you won't tell Onestar!"

"Of course not!" He mewed, hurt that she would accuse him of such a thing. "But why did you tell me this?" Hollyleaf explained to him our plan.

"...so we need you to deliver my kits--our kits--outside of camp," Hollyleaf told him.

"I see."

"So, will you...?" I asked hopefully.

He dipped his head, "Of course, Breezepelt." I smiled, then heard a loud shriek.

Our heads snapped toward Hollyleaf, then Kestrelsong yowled, "She's having the kits!"

END OF CHAPTER 8


	9. Kestrelsong To The Rescue, Part 2

"Well, our plan, Kestrelsong, StarClan visited both Breezepelt and I in our dreams," I told him.

"Ah," He nodded.

"...and Bluestar told us that if I did have kits, we would take one into WindClan and one into ThunderClan and try to pass them off as some other cats kits."

I heard Breezepelt hiss quietly as I said this, but I continued, "And, of course, that would be to cruel. At least," I shuddered. "It is to me." Kestrelsong looked at me sympathetically, then Breezepelt continued for me.

"So we came up with another plan. As you know, if the Clan knows about the kits, they have to stay in the mother's Clan." He mewed, and I winced in remebrance. "So, instead of seperating the kits, we decided we would pretend they belong to someone from ThunderClan."

"And who is the cat who is to be the fake father?" Kestrelsong asked.

"Well, we decided to look at cats who might have a crush on Hollyleaf..." Breezepelt mewed, disgusted by just discussing the matter.

"At first we considered Birchfall." I mewed.

Kestrelsong looked disgusted, like I suspected. Breezepelt clawed at the ground.

"...but you didn't choose Birchfall, did you?" He asked.

"Of course not. We chose Ashfur--"

"Oh, thank StarClan!" Kestrelsong muttered.

"--because our kits will most likely be a gray color. Hopefully, Ashfur will oblige..." He sighed. He, like me, didn't want anyone to be a fake father, but he had no choice in this situation.

"And this involves me, because...?" Kestrelsong asked like he was confused, though he already knew the reason.

I nodded, "So we need you to deliver my kits--our kits--outside of camp."

"I see." Kestrelsong mewed.

"So, will you...?" The look Breezepelt had on...no one could resist that.

He dipped his head, "Of course, Breezepelt."

Then, an excrutiating pain shot through me, and I couldn't help but let out a shriek of surprise and pain, "Breezepelt!" I gasped.

The two cats immediately ran to me. Kestrelsong examined me for a moment. _Hurry up!_ I inwardly shrieked.

Then, Kestrelsong raised his head and announced, "She's having the kits!"

"Hollyleaf, it's going to be okay," Breezepelt whispered, trying to calm me down.

We had moved onto WindClan territory because there were less cats out hunting in WindClan at this time of day. I searched for Breezepelt's amber eyes. I needed to be able to see him; it would help me get through this.

"Breezepelt," I mewed. My voice sounded strange to me.

"I'm right here, Hollyleaf, I'm right here," He mewed, and I found him. His gaze was concerned. He knew he couldn't calm me, but he would try anything to help me endure this pain.

"Breezepelt, back away!" Kestrelsong hissed, pushing my mate away. I would get him back for that later, but right now, the pain was unbearable.

I let out a high pitched yowl, then Kestrelsong announced, "The first one is coming!" I let out another yowl, then a small, dark gray kit lie beside me.

I stared at the kit for a moment, then at Breezepelt. His eyes were shining as he stared at the kit. He waited, though, because he knew one more was coming.

As if right on cue, I felt that the kit was coming. I was ready this time, though, so I only let out a wail. After several minutes of pain, another kit, this time light gray, lie beside me.

Kestrelsong dropped one kit by me, then rasped his tongue over the dark gray kit, "Lick the kit, Hollyleaf." I still felt really weak after this, but who cares? I just had kits! I licked the kit dry.

"Mew," The kits let out a pitiful mewl, then nuzzled into my stomach.

"They're beautiful," Breezepelt nuzzled my cheek. "Just like you." He mewed.

"And you." I reminded him.

We stared into each others eyes, then Kestrelsong mewed, "Okay, time for names!"

I glared at him for a moment, then stared down at the kits, "How about the light gray kit be named Windkit?" I asked. Breezepelt nodded in approval.

"And the dark gray tom could be..." He pondered this for a moment. "...Sootkit."

"Sootkit and Windkit..." Kestrelsong mewed.

As I stared at the two kits in front of me, it was hard to believe they were mine. But, they were, and I would always be here to take care of them.

...Sootkit and Windkit...


	10. A New Threat

**Note: This chapter is told from Hollyleaf's POV, not Breezepelt's.**

_"Sootkit and Windkit..."_

"Well," Kestrelsong mewed after awhile, standing up. "We'd better haul these kits over the ThunderClan border."

Breezepelt and I scarcely heard him. He flicked his tail in frustration, padding over, "HEY!!!!" He screeched, making Breezepelt and I flinch and the kits yowled in protest.

"_What?_" Breezepelt hissed, standing up.

I literally wanted to claw Kestrelsong at this point, because, once again, he had ruined the moment. He mewed more calmly, "Thank you. Now, we need to take the kits back over to the ThunderClan border."

"That's right," I mewed. I was tired. I couldn't remember being this tired in my life.

Kestrelsong leaned down and picked up Sootkit, and Breezepelt, knowing I was tired, picked up Windkit. He walked beside me all the way to the ThunderClan border.

"Don't leave," I whimpered. Breezepelt smiled and nuzzled my cheek, "It's not forever, dear." He whispered.

"_Ahem_." Kestrelsong mewed, clearing his throat. "Standing right here."

Breezepelt looked at him with cold amber eyes, then looked at me, "See you later, Hollyleaf."

I let out a quiet wail, not wanting him to leave, but I didn't protest as they padded away. Throwing one last look at me, he dissapeared out of sight.

I didn't make it very far with the kits before someone saw me. It was Spiderleg, "Hollyleaf!" I stopped, staring at him, keeping my face blank as if he could read my mind like Jayfeather. He looked at the kits, then at me.

"Spiderleg--" I began, then he cut me off.

"Let's get these kits to camp, then you can explain," He mewed, picking up Sootkit in his teeth. I stared at him cautiously, then saw that he meant no harm. I nodded, then picked up Windkit, and he walked together back to camp.

He stopped in front of the medicine cat den, then called out, "Leafpool!" The brown tabby bolted out, amber eyes wide, then she looked at me.

"Hi, Hollyleaf," Then she saw the kits. Her eyes narrowed, and I fought back a shudder. "Come in." She beckoned me inside with her tail, and Spiderleg and I followed after her.

"Lie in that moss over there," Leafpool mewed. I did as I was told, bringing the kits with me, who were both mewling loudly.

Against my wishes, Jayfeather walked into the den, and his ears perked up as he heard the mewling. He narrowed his eyes my way, and I kept my mind blank, fighting back the sneers that were about to spill out.

Spiderleg, wanting to spread the news of the kits, ran outside, and soon the whole Clan was crowding around the den; Leafpool had to keep several Clanmates away. The only ones who came in were Lionblaze, Firestar, Brambleclaw, Squirrelflight, and, thank StarClan, Ashfur.

My mother was looking at me proudly, and so were Brambleclaw and Firestar, but the others were looking at me suspiciously. "Hollyleaf," Firestar mewed calmly. "Can you tell us who these kits belong too?"

I inhaled, knowing no one heard me, then mewed, "Ashfur." Ashfur was staring at me, confused and shocked, and I looked back at him with a pleading expression. With a flick of his tail, he looked away.

"Yes," He mewed. "These are my kits."

"What are their names?" Leafpool asked.

"Umm...."

"Sootkit and Windkit." I answered before Ashfur could ruin it. _Whew_.

"Sootkit and Windkit," Squirrelflight echoed. "They're beautiful." Though her emerald eyes glittered in anger at the thought of Ashfur being the father.

"Alright, everyone back off," Jayfeather mewed hastily. "Hollyleaf needs rest." For once, I was grateful. I _was _tired.

I curled up and wrapped my tail around me, wishing so badly that I could have told them the truth...

-Later That Night-

Ashfur bounded through ThunderClan camp, staring at the luminous green eyes waiting for him outside. He stopped in front of me then, mewing, "Why did you lie?" He hissed. "Who is the real father?"

I took a deep breath, then replied. "Breezepelt."

His eyes widened, "You...mated with that WindClan cat?" I nodded, fighting back a hiss. "Why...?"

Then, I told him my plan, everything. The meetings...the lies...all of it. Then, he snarled, "So your using me as a decoy, just to protect that WindClan filth?"

"Ashfur, I...Please, don't tell Firestar!" I pleaded.

He snarled, "Fine," The relief I felt melted quick. "But, you have to promise me something."

"What?"

"That you will be _my _mate, and these will be _my _kits." He mewed.

"Wh-why would I agree to that?" I mewed, hissing.

He knocked me over with his paw, then pinned me down, "Because if you don't, I will reveal your little secret." He hissed in my ear.

My eyes widened, and he continued, "And, if I ever see you with that WindClan cat," He snarled. "I will kill him _and _the kits."

I struggled to get him off, but to no avail. "Do you understand?"

I nodded weakly, then felt a tear come to my eye. "Oh, please," He sneered. "Don't try that obnoxious sobbing stuff on me. It won't work."

My heart began pounding, and something dawned on me just then: Ashfur was more dangerous than any enemy. He was a danger to all of us. Me, the kits, and most of all...

_Breezepelt..._

_END OF CHAPTER 10  
_


	11. In For A Shock

**Note: The next few chapters will be told from Hollyleaf's POV, as she is in the same Clan as Ashfur. Also, Breezepelt may not be featured for awhile, but that has not been decided yet.**

_"If I see you with that WindClan cat, I will kill him and the kits!"_

...urk. Oh, it's you. Thank you for visiting...I'm not feeling too well, as you can see...

"So, is there any clue about what's wrong with her?" I heard Leafpool whispering to Jayfeather.

"No," He mewed. "The disease just sprang up suddenly. We just have to help her any way we can and hope she'll pull through." I stifled a sigh. Jayfeather knew that what I had told the Clan was a lie, and probably thought it was eating at me, but that wasn't what was wrong. Well, it was part of it, but nowhere near all of it.

"Jayfeather..." I called weakly. My blind brother ran over as if I needed assisstance. I tried standing, hoping to go out into the forest and tell him everything, but my legs went stiff the moment I stood, and I let myself drop.

"What is it, Hollyleaf?" He asked with the upmost intrest in his sightless blue eyes.

I opened my mouth to tell him, then a certain gray cat entered the den and said, "I came to see my _mate_. How is she?" I could tell he was supressing a sneer when he said the word "mate."

My fur bristled a bit. Thankfully, only Jayfeather was aware. _Mate? _I thought with a hint of a snarl. _You can't rightfully call me that. It's not like I have a choice! _For once, I was actually hoping that Jayfeather had read my mind.

"Ashfur," Jayfeather stepped forward, as if using himself as a shield, then mewed. "Hollyleaf is very, very sick, and we don't want any cat catching it. It'd be best to stay away from Hollyleaf." I supressed a sigh of relief (Oh, and the disease isn't really catchable, so he won't make you leave, don't worry). _Thank you._

Ashfur narrowed his sapphire eyes at me, making my skin crawl, then flicked his tail and left. Jayfeather then looked at Leafpool, "Leafpool, I'm going to take Hollyleaf out for some fresh air."

The light brown tabby nodded, "Okay, don't be long." I practically leapt up, and I would've fallen back down if Jayfeather hadn't caught me. I had to lean on him the whole way out. Thankfully, though, Jayfeather was strong.

"Wait," I mewed, my voice sounding hoarse. "I want to see my kits." Just recently, Whitewing had given birth to Birchfall's kits, Tawnykit and Snowkit, and she was also feeding my two kits while I was in the Medicine cat den.

Jayfeather nodded. The walk to the nursery took much longer than it should have, but it was worth it, getting to see my kits after this long; it had been an entire halfmoon since the conversation with Ashfur, and since I last saw Breezepelt.

Then, I began repeatedly coughing. I was coughing hard, so hard that it hurt my throat every time I did. I hadn't seen Breezepelt in so long...what if he thought I didn't love him anymore...? That was what caused the disease, the stress from not seeing Breezepelt, the thought of seeing blood spill from his lifeless body because I hadn't listened to Ashfur...I didn't know which hurt more: The thought of seeing Breezepelt dead, or the thought of me not seeing him again, thinking I had actually lost my love for him...it was very hard to supress the tears that were beginning to come.

As we entered the nursery, I padded slowly to Whitewing. She smiled at me warmly, then my heart leapt when my two kits stared up at me, "Hi, momma." Windkit mewed. I almost cried there.

"Hello, kits." I mewed, nuzzling both of them. Sootkit yowled in protest, but couldn't go anywhere as he was trapped by Windkit and Amberkit.

"Momma, when are you coming back to the nursery?" Windkit wailed. "We miss you!"

That broke my heart, and I mewed, "Soon, kits, soon."

"YAAAY~" Amberkit mewed, tackling Sootkit, who once again yowled in protest.

"Kits, I have to go. Say hi to your uncle Jayfeather before we leave." I smirked at Jayfeather, and he gave me a sour look in response.

"Hiii, uncle Jayfeather!" Windkit mewed, and Sootkit greeted him with a flick of his tail.

He dipped his head, then helped me walk out of the den, then out into the forest.

"Jayfeather," He mewed. "We have to go to the WindClan border."

As expected, when we got to the WindClan border, there stood Breezepelt. Tears filled my eyes, "Breezepelt!" I ran over and nuzzled his cheek, sobbing like a kit. "I thought I would never see you again..."

"I never stopped waiting," He whispered.

"Breezepelt," My voice cracked. I told him about Ashfur, about my sickness, all of it.

"Hollyleaf, you must protect the kits," He mewed. "Don't worry about me."

"Breezepelt, while I do not agree with the relationship between you two, I can see that you love my sister," Jayfeather mewed. "And therefore, if StarClan has it put away in your destiny, you should be together."

"Thank you, Jayfeather," He dipped his head in gratitude.

Then, Jayfeather stiffened, and he turned to a nearby bush, his fur bristling. I turned and saw two bright sapphire eyes staring out at me, then it dissapeared, "Oh, no..." I gasped. _Ashfur!_

"It's Ashfur!" Jayfeather replied to my thoughts. "We have to go!"

"Hollyleaf, take care!" Breezepelt yowled as Jayfeather and I bounded back to camp.

When we reached camp, everything seemed quiet. Then, we heard a yowl of agony from the nursery, and Birchfall ran out wailing.

"What's wrong?" I gasped.

"It's Whitewing!" He sobbed. "Whitewing is dead!"

END OF CHAPTER 11


	12. Warning

_"Whitewing is dead!"_

I couldn't move. It was as if my legs were rooted in the ground like tree roots. I stared at Birchfall with my bright green eyes as he sobbed. I began to tremble, looking at Jayfeather for comfort.

Jayfeather didn't look shocked, as if he suspected this would happen, but his blind blue eyes were clouded with grief. Seeing his agonized gaze didn't help any, and I suddenly felt the need to see for myself. I bounded toward the nursery. I couldn't get in, though, because Brambleclaw and Spiderleg were guarding it.

"Please, let me in!" I begged, my voice thick with grief. Spiderleg and Brambleclaw exchanged glances, then nodded and stepped aside. I padded in slowly, bracing myself for the horrifying sight I knew I would see.

Then, I felt something pull me back before I could get to far in. It was Jayfeather, his blue eyes pleading with me not to go inside. "If you go in," He mewed coolly, trying to disquise his grief. "then I'm going in, too." I wasn't going to argue with him.

I breathed in once more, and Jayfeather walked in with me exremely close, as if I needed the support to walk.

I walked inside, and...

Jayfeather let out a yowl of grief before I could do anything. Tears did not roll down his cheeks, but they didn't need to; the pain he felt was clear in his gaze.

I stared at the snow white body in front of me. No matter what, Firestar wouldn't excuse this as just a normal death. Any cat with eyes could see it was a murder.

The tears began to fill my eyes, then, but something else hopped into my head right then. _The kits!_

As if reading my mind, Jayfeather gasped and pointed to the pool of blood that had spilled out of Whitewing. There lay four bodies by Whitewing, all four bathed in blood.

Fear shot through me, "Sootkit, Windkit!" I gasped, pain spilling out of my gaze.

Then, I heard a quiet, muffled mew, "Momma..." Relief shot through me as my two kits stared up at me, their eyes sad. I gasped, running over and licking my kits.

I stopped, then mewed, "What about Snowkit and Tawnykit?" The kits stared at Whitewing's body.

"Here..." A hoarse voice mewed, and Tawnykit emerged from behind Whitewing's body, followed by Snowkit.

Jayfeather ran his tounge over their fur, trying to calm them, "What happened?"

Tawnykit began mewing, each word seperated by sobs, "W-we were outside playing with R-rosepaw and T-toadpaw, and we went back to the den a little later..." Then, she stopped, unable to continue.

Windkit continued for her, "We came back, and Whitewing was dead..."

Snowkit let out a sharp wail, burying her nose in Sootkit's fur. Sootkit stared at his cousin with agonized eyes, then he sighed.

Watching my kits sob like this made the tears fall. I had been holding them back, not wanting to show my kits how weak I was, but it was to much. I fell to the ground, the tears falling like rain.

Then, my heart lurched as I heard a sickeningly familiar voice, "Did something happen?" I whirled around, my kits now behind me. Jayfeather pressed close too me as Ashfur made his way into the den.

When Ashfur walked in, I saw him pretend to be shocked at the sight of Whitewing's body, "Oh, StarClan, what has happened?!" I stifled a hiss as Jayfeather shot me a warning glance.

Ashfur stared me directly, daring me to say something. Of course, I could not. I simply nudged the kits, walked past Ashfur as Jayfeather followed.

When I walked past Ashfur, I heard him murmur, "I warned you."

END OF CHAPTER 12


	13. Random OneShot

**Note: I know I'm going to get shot for not updating for so long, then when I do update, it's random crap. I'm sorry, the story WILL continue, I just need ideas for the next chapter...in the mean time, enjoy this EXTREMELY weird crack pairing: HollyXStick.**

_"I love you so much..."_

_"You are everything to me..."_

_"Forget Jayfeather, please..."_

I shouldn't be judged by these actions, should I? I mean, I would never go against the Warrior code...well, I know I did meet with Breezepelt for many moons...but, that was over now. This wasn't nessacarily treason! It wasn't another Clan cat I was meeting with, so why should Firestar care?! I mean, he meets with Spottedleaf in his dreams, and there's no TELLING what _they _do!

...aww, who am I kidding. This _is _treason! It may not be to the Clan, but it was to Breezepelt! And, even worse, I was betraying Jayfeather's trust. I just couldn't resist! It was too hard! Now, it's too late...

When I awoke at midnight, I noticed something strange: Ashfur wasn't curled up beside me. Ever since that day many moons ago, when I lied about Sootpaw and Windpaw being Ashfur's kits, he has referred to me as 'mate' instead of Hollyleaf, and vowed to always stay by my side...but, at the time, I didn't know he meant that _literally_.

I shrugged it off. Really, I didn't care if he was with me or not--it was to my advantage, because no one would notice if I slipped out of the den. I tiptoed quietly past Squirrelflight, the _traitor_, then past Thornclaw. Spiderleg shifted in his sleep, and I paused for several moments before I bounded out of the Warriors den.

I stopped by the medicine cat den, listening. I had Leafpool's silent breathing, then I heard Jayfeather's soft snoring. I snickered; he sounded like a sleeping badger!

When the wonderful scents of the forest hit my nose, I thought that I might as well catch some food for my beloved. I sniffed, then a scent entered my nose. _Vole. _My head snapped to the side. _Behind that tree root._

I crouched down, putting one paw softly in front of the other. I stiffened, then, when I heard a loud _snap_. "No!" I mewed in a furious hiss, pouncing. I was lucky; I managed to trap the vole between my claws before it could escape. I sunk my teeth into the tiny creatures neck, then jumped for joy. _My beloved will be happy._

I finally made it to the lake, the vole limp between my jaws. It was so dark, and I was afraid I would never find my love, "Beloved...?" I called. That was just a nickname, by the way.

I was terrified now. What if the water had swept him away? I sniffed and sniffed, then I felt something underneath my paw. I looked down, seeing my love. My heart leapt, "Stick!" I cried happily, nuzzling the piece of wood. "My beloved stick..." I purred.

Then, I remembered the vole, "Oh," I exclaimed. "I brought you something." I looked back at Stick, making sure he didn't go anywhere, then I picked up the vole and padded back to him.

"Beloved, I brought you something to eat," I put the vole to Stick's 'mouth', and it dropped. I was confused. "Oh, are you not hungry?" I smiled, curling up by Stick. "Well, that's okay, Stick. You can eat when you want to."

Stick didn't say anything to me the entire time, but that was okay; I knew Stick was the silent type. I nuzzled Stick, then flinched when something sharp stabbed my nose, "Ow!" I cried, realizing I had a splinter.

I stared at Stick, confused at hurt, "Why did you do that?" I didn't take Stick's silence to well. "Did I do something wrong, Stick?" He still didn't reply. I was about to start sobbing, but then I saw something wash onto the shore.

I saw a gray body lying in the water, and something dawned on me then. It all added up! Ashfur missing, Stick not talking too me..."You're having an affair with Ashfur!" I cried at Stick. "That's why you won't talk to me! Obviously you've been meeting here with Ashfur! He must've passed out from all of the Fem Ale you've been drinking!"

Stick didn't reply, and my green eyes widened, "Oh my StarClan!" I shrieked. "You told him where our secret stash of Fem Ale is, didn't you?!" Still no response, but Stick did roll away a little (Me: It was just the wind blowing it. XD).

Stick continued to roll until he fell into the water beside Ashfur. My eyes filled up with tears, "Fine." I sobbed. "I guess we're through..." I couldn't believe it. How could I have fallen for such a thing?! I fell for that cheating stick, AND he goes and mates with another cat!

I sniffed, then a wonderful aroma filled my nostrils. I walked to a hollow tree, which lead to an old fox den underground. Without meaning to, I slipped and fell inside.

I padded over to one of the glass bottles, "Fem Ale..." I purred. It was the drink Stick and I created. I hated Stick now, but the Fem Ale never betrayed me, and it never would..._right?_

**THE END**


End file.
